Recently, my mother found some of her old school friends online. All of them saw each other through the screen after decades, with a thousand chapters of life lived in between.
Keeping up with the new age trend, they have made a Whatsapp group on which they let each other know about trivial daily stuff, -about who went where for a vacation or work, who tried out what new recipe, who dressed up like what for a wedding and other whereabouts (with pictures of course). They shower each other with compliments, leg-pulls and nostalgia. Of late, I see my mother coming home after a long day to rest peacefully with her phone and a childlike glee to participate in this group chat. This is most unusual for a woman who despises and considers almost the entire social media platform as superficial. So surprisingly, she barges in like an excited kid to say “Look! This girl was my bench-partner!” “And this one here,she was the naughtiest one who always got punished.” “And this, is Moushumi,- she was so stylish she could have been been Miss World!” I laugh at all this, both with awe and humour, and also feel amused to realise how badly they want to connect with each other with simple words and stupid forwards. Ma says that’s the thing with childhood friends, – there’s nothing to judge and they shower love without any reason.
One ponders for a second to introspect. At every stage of life, friendship is perceived differently with rising expectations at every stage. As a child, – anyone who shares a pencil or an eraser with you is a friend. Next up, the ones whom you want to do a school project with, or the ones you miss terribly on their absent days, or the ones you give extra chocolates to on your birthday and can talk to for hours,- are indeed your friends. As we grow up into adults however, most of us see ourselves in many sides of the coin. Friendships can comprise of occasional rounds of socializing with fun and frolic. It can also be about groups within a larger group or about taking sides as per needs, or something that we would rather just flow with than comprehend.
Friendship could also be the most beautiful, real thing in the world. It could be about bonds that warm up your heart like a festival and hold you tight in all situations. It could be simple and understanding with the capacity to start from the same point even after ages of distance and time. Or it could also become distant stars in the galaxy of Facebook,inspite of viewing each other’s constant status updates. And most of us feel blessed to have witnessed it all , because well, – in life one absorbs from every experience.
Maybe life gets complicated, or maybe we do. Some say we are a bunch of people so virtually connected that we can never be apart .That maybe we feel the need to talk less when we can just ‘ping’ each other anytime we want to. That maybe we are smart enough to not read and send stupid forwards, or real enough to not pass extravagant praises to someone.
But looking at Maa, it occurs as if maybe our generation has lost simplicity in the quest of being simple. Maybe we talk a lot without meaning anything. Maybe the access to a thousand modes of communication makes us unable to experience the true joy of reconnecting. Maybe we have stopped lifting each other up without any reason. Because for us, someone with too many manners comes across as fake. The rude and apparently rough person comes across as ‘ real’.
Maybe it’s time to be simple,non-judgemental and loving again. Maybe it’s time to share pencils and erasers again.
🙂
-Abhipsha Ray
C'est la vie 